It is Easter, but instead of feeling the joy of resurrection and freedom that comes from the most beautiful act of love given to the world centuries ago by my Lord and Savior, I feel an overwhelming sadness.
Unlike many days, today I know why. I miss my family, especially my mom. I miss the way she made Easter and every holiday an event. I miss having her close by. I am beyond sad that she is not here to have Easter dinner with us. Having my mom move hours away, having her so distant from us both in miles and otherwise continues to break me. I miss what was.
I am also missing what should have been. I miss the baby we lost. I am so incredibly sad I am not feeling baby kicks right now, and figuring out where to put the baby furniture.
Most days I am okay, but today, in this moment, too much is missing.
