I am not a good cook, nor am I a natural born housekeeper. I am not extremely organized. I am lazy to a fault. I am none of the things that I believe make a good wife and mother. I am rarely patient. I do not handle sickness and/or weakness well. I am easily frustrated. I fly off the handle over little things and make flippant, cold comments without batting an eyelash, while my husband truly takes it from me without retaliating. I often feel like I am failing at all the important aspects of motherhood and being a wife.
But, it is also my favorite part of my life. I LOVE being Jason's wife. I LOVE being Lane's mom. I love my life, as it is, with all of it's simple, beautiful, albeit at times frustrating moments. I feel so blessed that God gave me these two amazing people to love and care for. I am finding joy in cleaning my house, a desire to learn to cook for my guys, a joy in managing our finances and even joy in getting off my butt to cater to the youngest among us many, many needs and whims. Because this is my real "job" in life. The part-time jobs I do to help us financially, are insignificant in comparison and do not get my first priority like jobs used to. Sure there are going to be many things I will do in my life that may be deemed important, tasks that may even make me seem more important to others, but short of maintaining a true relationship with God, I do believe wholeheartedly that loving, serving and caring for them is my most important "job", as well as my greatest gift.
So although I am not what I deem good at the job, and although I will always be striving to do it better, I am so glad that I get to do this everyday (and night). So even though I may not be perfect at this job, I will gladly keep my day (and night) job!
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