Life is messy. Life is beautiful.

Lately this thing called life has confused me, frustrated me, depressed me, stressed me and literally sickened me. But oddly, at the same time, it has been filled with simple, beautiful moments of joy, love, laughter, purpose and peace.  Life is messy, a roller coaster of sorts, but I know at the end of it all, I will look back and know the ride, with all of the twists, flips, turns and slow, seemingly endless creeping to the top before a scary, whirlwind spiral down a steep, stomach dropping descent, went by way too fast and given the chance, I would do it all over again!

Dear Jason,

On this day six years ago I became your wife. We both had been down the road of broken marriages and broken dreams before, and as I have admitted to you many times before, I was petrified of what our life would look like years down the road. And here we are, years later, and some of those fears have come true. Here is our special day and I did not manage to get you a card, because the last two weeks have been full of sickness, extremely busy and overwhelming. We no longer manage a weekend away to celebrate. I was afraid we would start "phoning it in" rather than nurturing our love, and sometimes we do. I was afraid we would fight, and we definitely have. I was afraid we would have nothing in common  as the years passed, other than bills, stress and boredom with the mundane. I can check that fear off as being validated throughout the years, mostly during our most difficult times of feeling completely disconnected.

But, on that day six years ago, I was also very hopeful. I hoped we could maintain the love we felt as we stood before our family and friends pledging our love and commitment to each other for our lifetimes. I hoped we would build a life that was special. I hoped I was marrying my best friend, my partner in crime, my soul-mate. Although my fears have come true at times over the last few years, my hopes and dreams for us on that day, have been fulfilled a million times over. You are my gift from God. Jason, nobody loves better than you do. Nobody I know (on this earth) fulfills the biblical principles of love (patient, kind, never haughty, selfish or rude, never demanding your own way, or telling me when I do it wrong...) better than you. You have taught me what it means to love and how amazing it is to be loved. You are my best friend, the person I run to when I am happy, sad and everything in between. You make marriage fun. You make life fun. You are my heart! Marrying you was a leap of faith that actually was part of the process of restoring my faith in God.

Today, as I look back on the years we have had together, I realize that I still feel many of the emotions I felt the day we married, but now the hope and excitement far outweigh the fears. Happy Anniversary my love!

Love,
The woman that loves you more today than I did that day 6 years ago