Six years ago, I embarked on a journey that now defines my life. Although I was slightly reluctant, I gave my heart to a man that taught me how to love deeply, unselfishly, honestly and completely. We wed. We have battled the dark days of grief, fear and anger. Rejoiced in many, many more days of laughter, fulfilled dreams, and the mundane, but beautiful daily routine. He is my rock, my home and the fulfillment of dreams I never even knew I had.

I remember a time I thought I did not need anyone. During that time, I was so proud of my independence. I reveled in my pain and loneliness, feeling strong. I falsely believed I would never welcome, and never need anyone in my life.

Today, as my husband prepared for a trip out of town for work, I recognized I have become codependent, on him and on God. I am nothing on my own. My initial reaction was to be slightly frustrated with myself. Of course, I should be codependent on God, but on my husband? How weak does that make me? How pitiful? But later the answer came to me, and that answer is yes, I should be dependent on him.  The Bible says "the two become one", so it stands to reason I would feel this way. My other half is gone for now. We are a team. Missing him and longing for him is not weakness, although the world may try to tell me different.

So tonight, with some tears, I admit that I miss my husband and cannot wait until he is back home with me, because without him I am simply not whole (as cliche as it may sound).