Not Quite Jumping On The Essential Oil Bandwagon

I have been reluctant to jump on the essential oil bandwagon. This should not surprise anyone, since I generally embrace a trend just as it is going out. It is either I am oblivious to the fact that there is a new "it thing", or I am just not willing to put the money into something until I know it works.

So a few weeks ago, okay months ago, I purchased a starter kit of essential oils at a discounted cost, sure they would change my life forever. Read: I will never need to use modern medications again, and I will be really cool.

In reality, the box of peppermint, lavender and lemon oils has remained basically untouched, taunting me for many weeks. I tried the lavender, which is supposed to be relaxing and help plunge me into a restful sleep, but I really just do not like the smell. So this morning, as I battled a headache I have not been able to shake since last night, I came across a blog that touted peppermint oil as a cure for a headache. I tried it. Although it did open my sinuses and burn my skin, I am writing this minutes before I go take a dose of ibuprofen.

So I wonder, with all the hype proclaiming the amazing benefits, is it just hype, or am I just doing it wrong?

Six years ago, I embarked on a journey that now defines my life. Although I was slightly reluctant, I gave my heart to a man that taught me how to love deeply, unselfishly, honestly and completely. We wed. We have battled the dark days of grief, fear and anger. Rejoiced in many, many more days of laughter, fulfilled dreams, and the mundane, but beautiful daily routine. He is my rock, my home and the fulfillment of dreams I never even knew I had.

I remember a time I thought I did not need anyone. During that time, I was so proud of my independence. I reveled in my pain and loneliness, feeling strong. I falsely believed I would never welcome, and never need anyone in my life.

Today, as my husband prepared for a trip out of town for work, I recognized I have become codependent, on him and on God. I am nothing on my own. My initial reaction was to be slightly frustrated with myself. Of course, I should be codependent on God, but on my husband? How weak does that make me? How pitiful? But later the answer came to me, and that answer is yes, I should be dependent on him.  The Bible says "the two become one", so it stands to reason I would feel this way. My other half is gone for now. We are a team. Missing him and longing for him is not weakness, although the world may try to tell me different.

So tonight, with some tears, I admit that I miss my husband and cannot wait until he is back home with me, because without him I am simply not whole (as cliche as it may sound).