"I Cannot Take Anymore"

There are days you really feel you cannot take anymore! That is me today, and it is only Wednesday. Long story short my week consisted of my husband leaving for the week, four positive home pregnancy tests, elation over these, and devastation when the tests at the doctors came back negative. I cannot believe the feeling of depression, heartbreak and pain that is invading my spirit right now. I have cried an ocean full of tears. I could not even work yesterday after my doctor's office called! I am also scared to death that something is seriously wrong (i.e. a cyst, cancer or miscarriage), which caused the four "false" positives. The more online research I do, the more concerned I become! I am finding it hard to move, breathe, etc. It is so hard to want something so bad and to now feel as if I can't even trust the very tests that are supposed to provide me assurance that I am pregnant. At this point in time all I can do is cry, pray and trust in God! On top of all of this, I really, really miss my husband :(