Keeping My Mouth Shut

Normally....

when something is wrong, I tell the world about it

when I make big decisions, I tell everyone before I am entirely sure what my final choice is

when I get my feelings hurt, I call ALL of my nearest and dearest to tell them how the world has wronged me (or a specific person, whichever)

I vent, I rant, I seek attention

But lately....

I've been more quiet with my feelings

I process internally before sharing

I deal with things fully by myself and then if necessary (which I'm finding it rarely is) I get other's advice, or input

I am trying not to complain as often

I am learning to keep my mouth shut once in awhile, because this seems to be the wiser choice.

The effect of this "new" me (although I'm not sure how it happened, because I wasn't trying to change this, because I happen to like running my mouth)...

is that it makes me feel more grown up, like maybe, just maybe I'm becoming an adult (just kidding...we know that will never happen)!

Mostly it makes me a happier person.

It makes me realize that I am a strong person.

It leaves me with fewer regrets in the end.

I think I like the new/improved version of me a little better!

Sad, But True...

there is very little in my life that chocolate chip cookies and hot chocolate can't fix! I totally credit my mom for this, because she always fixed that combo to celebrate something (like the first day of school) or when we were feeling down. Cinnamon toast and hot chocolate works the same way and for the same reason :)

So thanks to the cookies and hot chocolate I am feeling much better - haha! (I know it's really the sugar rush that does this, but hey, I'll take what I can get...plus I'm sure it has a lot to do with the warm memories too)!

Brandy is...

Having a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day!

Why may you ask? A multitude of reasons that have pretty much existed all week, since all week has felt bad (despite some pretty amazing, cool parts that I will hopefully write about soon)...

The forecast lied last week. It is only 39 degrees and not going to get anywhere near 50 today! This does not make me happy!

I am in an all around grumpy non-social mood today. Which of course doesn't bode well for my evening plans, or for my job retention for that matter. Sadly enough I am so grouchy I don't even care.

People. Enough said!

Worry over anything and everything.

Not enough sleep.

Not enough chocolate.

But the optimist in me knows that at some point the sun will shine again, that I have so much to be thankful for, that I will catch up on sleep, that I will smile and laugh freely again, that I will see J in a few hours who will find a way to make all the bad from today disappear, and that I am blessed beyond measure in many ways!

Friday Highlights

*Spring is officially here! I just looked at the 10 day forecast and not one day has a forecasted high temperature of less than 50 degrees!

*There is a man mowing his yard in a pair of slacks, long sleeve white shirt and tie.

*This is my "single" weekend. Every other weekend J has his daughter and I don't see him (although this weekend the three of us are going to spend some time together). My "big" plans for my "single" weekend involve spring cleaning the house, going to the farmer's market in the morning, maybe taking my camera and getting some pics downtown and by the river, a solo morning run followed by chocolate chip pancakes, a basketball tournament with friends and finishing the book I started this week.

*My day started off ridiculously grouchy, but good weather, good food and good discussions with my loved ones have made me much more pleasant to be around :)

*I finally put in a job app the other day for a job in my degree field. I also have a good lead on another potential job. This means I was somewhat productive this week!

*I think I want to get a dog when I get a new place (which won't be until fall, but it's something I've been thinking about).

Well that's just a few short updates/tidbits to get you through the weekend :) Enjoy the first weekend of spring!!!

Hallelujah! Hallelujah!

The sun is finally shining (briefly, but it's supposed to breakthrough in full force by tomorrow)!!!!! It has been cloudy, overcast and rainy for way too long (something like 5 or 6 days-which in my opinion is way too long). And it's supposed to be in the 70's tomorrow, which means I get to wear a skirt and sandals to work :) Plus J and I already have plans for a picnic and walk in the park tomorrow night! Sunshine makes me VERY VERY HAPPY (which I'm sure you can all tell by the rather excessive amount of exclamation marks in this very short post)! Of course, a lot of other things make me happy as well!

Okay, I've sung praises, and now I offer up this prayer...please, please let spring actually be here!!!!

Spring Fever

I find myself being very "snippy" lately, top that with a dose of oversensitivity and a big wallop of whiny and it does not make for a very happy me, or very happy people around me! Once again there are either a million reasons for this, such as me being gone so much, the time change, no time or energy to workout, gaining what feels like 50 lbs, the economy (the world, as well as my personal economy),being sick AGAIN, etc., or no reason at all, it's just one of those things.

But the crazy thing is it doesn't seem to be just me. It seems like everyone is feeling this way. Which makes me feel better because I am all about justification ;)

What I've decided ultimately is that it is just a case of spring fever! Granted, we have had teasers of spring, but now it's time for spring to get here so that we can be more active, wear more skirts (well the girls of course...but this always puts me in a good mood for some reason), wear sandals, get a good dose of Vitamin D from the sun, get a LITTLE bit of a tan, go on picnics, hiking, camping, go to festivals, etc. It's just time to break out of this winter funk! I'm thinking March is probably my least favorite month of the year!

On a good note, J and I get to spend an entire weekend together, which makes me deliriously happy (and is time I will try very, very hard not to be snippy or anything else like that)!!!! We are hoping to go to a St. Pat's Day Celtic Festival. I'm also hoping to convince him to play cards or Yahtzee with me, see a movie and maybe get us to cook dinner together at some point! Oh the plethora of possibilities that an entire weekend at home lends me...aaahhh, I'm feeling better already :)

Hope everyone has a fantastic weekend!

Becoming Domesticated

I am finally ready to settle down and settle in to my life. I am out of college, in a solid and secure relationship and now I'm ready for the next phase.

For me this mostly means not living like a college student. I finally feel graduated and ready be a "grown up". Granted I have been for awhile, but I'm ready to live like one. Mostly I just feel ready to settle down. I want to have a clean house, clean car, cook, bake, do crafts, entertain, etc. I want to join a book club. I want to learn to knit. I want to make jewelry. I want to have a house where anyone can drop in anytime. I want to create a home that is comfortable and aesthetically appealing for anyone that comes to visit. I want to be able to pull a meal together for guests within a moments notice. I want to start recycling again. I want to bake bread from scratch (or at least biscuits). My personal term for all of this is that I want to become "domesticated". I'm done with struggling and/or "flying by the seat of my pants". I'm not feeling restless or the need to push into new places, meet tons of new people, have a million new experiences a day anymore. Now I'm feeling relaxed, settled and ready to pursue this next phase of my life. Of course a lot of this is stuff I've been working on before now, just not doing well, so now I am going to focus on this a little more.

This in no way means I don't want to travel, find a new job, pursue my masters, etc., it just means I want to have it all. And believe it or not, I know many women who do "have it all" so I refuse to think it is completely out of my reach :)

Home Sweet Home

I am glad to be home for awhile!!!! I never thought I would feel that way, because I do love to travel, but being the creature of habit we all know I am, life has been way too chaotic for my sanity or that of those around me.

Case in point: Vacations are supposed to relax me, and while I am gone I am generally quite relaxed. Unfortunately as soon as I get home that relaxation mode disappears and I become a little crazed over what has not been done, how quickly I can get back into my routine, etc. It makes me a little crabby to say the least. It also makes absolutely no sense. I'm thinking I need to test a week in the Carribbean or Hawaii to see if it has the same effect...I'm thinking it will not and I will return blissfully happy :)

Being single for a few years I did not realize that I would carry that craziness over into my relationship. Apparently I tend to decide that since I left he can't possibly still want to be with me, love me or think that I am the most incredible woman on earth (you know he does...maybe, it's possible), no matter what he says to me. This of course is completely irrational (I know me being irrational is a foreign concept, but just go with me on this) but it takes me a few days to finally relax and recognize that yes, everything is okay with us and with the world around me!

All of that being said, it is time for me to have some time at home for awhile I think!

I did have a great time visiting with my family though and remembered how much I LOVE Atlanta!!!! I can't wait to go back and visit...well you know in a few months, and maybe I will take J with me next time, so that at least one area of craziness will be avoided :)

On the Road Again

I have absolutely no pics to post from PA! I ended up getting the worst migraine ever on Sunday and missing out on all the family fun :( I had a lot of fun visiting over fresh brewed coffee, and sharing lots of laughs, once I rejoined the land of the living though. I also got to go to the Chocolate Factory, which for those of you that know me could be one of the highlights of my life since I am a known chocaholic!!! We did get to see snow although I was very disappointed to miss out on the biggest snowstorm Lynchburg has had in years!!! I go North and the South gets a snowstorm...seriously, what is going on here?

So tomorrow it is off to Georgia with my mom and stepdad! The weather is supposed to be gorgeous, and I am packing summer clothes (yep, I'm probably jinxing it by doing this, but I am so ready for spring and summer)!! I will TRY to actually take some pics and recount any fun anecdotes upon my return!

So much to tell, No time to tell it!

Life is moving at warp speed so there is literally no time to write eventhough as usual I have way too much I want to write about! Work is crazy busy (yay, for me having a job in this economy), I fall more in love everyday (yay for me again!), travelling is a blast and I love all the people I am getting to spend time with (that being said, I am ready for a couple weekends at home after Georgia this weekend), there is no progress on the school and job front (but there will be in the next few weeks, I am making myself and everyone else that promise), and again life is simply good. I love being happy (yep, I'm a dork)!

I do have stories to share, so let's hope I have some time to regale you with my latest stories and adventures before I forget them :)