Making the Effort

One of the most devastatingly hurtful things that anyone has ever said to me was that "I wasn't worth the effort anymore". How could someone who's opinion and friendship I once valued more than any others not think I was worth their time and energy anymore? It was one of those moments when I thought I could literally feel my heart crack open and bleed out. Of course, I later took it for what it was, pretty much the end of a toxic relationship that was truly not worth the effort to try to maintain.

But today I started to wonder how many times I intentionally or unintentionally make people feel like they aren't worth the effort? And if I am honest with myself, lately it has been a lot. One example, there is a couple older men that come in my office just to chat with my boss or with us. If I am not in a good mood, busy or simply being self-absorbed I will basically ignore them. I have gotten to the point of being rude at times. So today when one of them came in I was feeling bad (thanks to a stomach virus that hit me Monday night, that I am still recuperating from), and all I wanted to do was get him to leave. But I have been thinking about my Grandma Lois a lot today, about how much I miss her and I realized that like her, he is simply lonely. He lives alone, and my boss, his usual lunch partner is out of town, so he simply wants the company. Instead of ignoring him, I decided to make the effort to be nice, so I showed him some pics from my hike Sunday and visited. He was only here for 5-10 minutes, but I hope he left here feeling like he was worth my time and effort, instead of feeling as if I didn't want him here.

Everyday we are presented with dozens of opportunities to either make sure someone knows they are "worth the effort", simply by returning or initiating a phone call, hanging up the cell phone and saying hi to the cashier or opening the door for the woman with the baby stroller, or to do the opposite and make them feel ignored and unimportant. There are so many simple ways to prove to people that they are worth our time and energy, things that actually take very little of either. So, I hope that in my quest to become a little less jaded and a little kinder, I will remember that everyone is worth the effort, even if somedays it takes a little more effort than others. As an added benefit, I realized today that taking that 5 minutes to be kind made me feel as if my life held a little more value then it did before he walked in the door.