Letting Go

One of my least favorite sayings that my parents and other adults used when I was growing up was "This is going to hurt me more than it's going to hurt you". This always came before being punished and you knew that it was a lie. Even if it hurt their feelings they had the higher moral ground of "I'm doing the right thing" to rest on, while we simply suffered. The other saying I hated was "You're old enough for your wants not to hurt you". At 8 years old when you didn't get the doll or toy "all" your friends had, that did hurt. And of course that statement turned out to be a lie too. I am 32 years old and wanting something that I can't have still hurts. Sure I've learned that being denied material desires is not going to kill me. I don't have to have it, just because my friends do anymore. But, it's the things that I want that are seemingly out of my control that hurts, like being able to come home to that special someone every night, losing my best friend, or letting go of a dream that is such an innate part of me that I never thought it wouldn't happen. We never get old enough that these things don't cut deep leaving gaping wounds that take weeks, months and sometimes years to heal. But just as children end up doing when they don't get the toy they thought they so desperately needed, they let go. So I'm letting go, because not to will only cause greater pain and sorrow, and might cause me to miss out on something even better in my life.