"What If"

Today is a rainy day and seems to be a perfect day to play the "what if" game. It's not complicated and the rules are simple. There's actually only one rule to the entire game and that is, never play "what if" in the past tense. This game only applies to the present and even more to the future. The reason for this is pretty obvious, but basically it boils down to the fact that there is no way I can change the past, so "what if" is not relevant, nor is it worth dragging up often painful memories and regrets to wonder things such as "what if" I had never married him, or "what if" I had gone straight to college and on to a career in my early 20's. Those "what if's" are not a game, but torture.

I mostly like this game because there is no winning or losing. Some days the "what if" game manifests itself in a sort of fantasy world, where I daydream about people and dreams that are so far beyond my reach that I know it is no more than a fantasy. Then there are the times that I play "what if" with very realistic plans and goals, weighing my options and deciding on the best choices. But that's not today, today I am totally playing the "what if" game on the fantasy level!