"The Game"

In a sudden burst of inspiration/desperation I realized I have forgotten how to play the game. "The game" of course being flirting, dating, hooking up, and I have forgotten how to play. Case in point: I had a perfect opportunity to flirt with a very, very good-looking single guy that I have known for awhile, this weekend for hours and I did nothing. I was like the shy, backward version of myself and think I come off more standoffish than anything with him. Then to rub salt in the wound there was a guy in the bookstore the next day that was obviously trying to get up the nerve to talk to me and may have if I had simply shown a little bit of interest, but again, you guessed it, I did nothing. People say that much like other things (well one other thing) it is like riding a bike. This could be true, but I think my bike is rusty, has flat tires and the chain is missing. I used to flirt just because I could whether it was a cashier in the checkout line, a friend that I knew was only a friend or with someone I was genuinely interested in. But after years of deciding to be happy with myself and willingly envisioning a life alone I realized that I have forgotten one of the most basic elements of life for a single woman. It is good to be open to the possibility that someday there will be that "special someone". It is essential to recognize that despite past failures and the fact that I may still love the one I lost there can be that "someone" (I will go into my ideas on "the one" in a later post). I think I stopped flirting because I didn't want to always feel like I was constantly on the prowl, well that and I generally picked the wrong people to flirt with, date or hook-up with. But instead of pursuing the path of balance in this situation I unintentionally opted to choose total prudishness. I think it's time to get back on this bike and learn how to ride again.